Bits And Pieces Of Kandye

Don't Speak...Gewn Steffoni...perfect don't break up with me song.

Wonderful Tonight... Eric Clapton...perfect I love you, need you song

Son Of A Sailor...Jimmy Buffet...Perfect life lessons song

Best Of My Love...Eagles... Best, we almost made it song

 No, I haven't ever wanted to be a man. I'm very comfortable with my role as a woman. I am an extremely submissive  woman so I can't imagine wielding that kind of power. It doesn't repel me to think of being a man, quite the opposite as I am in awe of the male species. I like things just the way they are.

 

 

What a fulfilling and unexpected evening with Master.

This is one of His endearing qualities. Life with Him never goes stale. We have both been busy for the last week or so. Not time for much but short hot flashes of quickie sex. All of the daily tasks and duties of slavedom are met but time seems like a blur.

I suppose Master had reached His limit of time without using His slave properly because I was pleasantly awakened with His hand wrapped around my neck and squeezing.

I do not fear Master; at least not in the way of thinking He'll choke me to death; but when you wake suddenly to no air it at best is startling.

One hand stays wrapped around my neck; while the other He puts a finger to my lip...

“shhh”” don't speak. Just spread your legs and keep your mouth shut.”

 

I recently received a p.m. From someone who asks the following question? Why do you let a man make you feel small and stupid just so he feels powerful? Why are you so weak that you feel you need to be “owned” as you put it to feel like you matter?

Although the questions struck me as a bit judgmental, I do understand how those not in this type of relationship would view it that way. Let me try to explain things at least from my point of view.

It seems I am forever defending my lifestyle choice and there seems to not be any grey area for observers. Either I'm supported wholeheartedly or I am dismissed outright as a needy clingy desperate excuse for a woman.

Here's the thing.

I have never been made to feel stupid. In fact, I am on paper very smart. I have a college degree in journalism with marketing as a minor. I have been employed as a consultant for various companies in certain marketing matters over the years. I have been published many times as a free lance journalist for various news sources and magazines. It's not a full time thing; only when inspiration hits and I submit it to my connections I've made; sometimes it's picked up; sometimes it's not. It's my passion so I keep it active in my life.

Master has always supported my pursuits; even insisted I follow through as I was in college when we met. He didn't want me to feel as if I had put my dreams on hold for him. Along with that I also act as my Masters hostess in His business. I take care of many details and make sure his clients are pleased when they do business with Him. ( no, not that way...lol... again by taking care of mundane details while they vacation)

He doesn't make me feel stupid; He validates me as a worthy ying to His yang. Oh sure there are times when we are in the middle of something hot and heavy, and the verbal humiliation, (which thrills me) gets strong and He calls me a stupid whore or a dumb slut, or any number of degrading humiliating word combinations that He so eloquently knows how to use on me, but they excite the both of us during the actions. It's not like He comes home from work and says “ Get your stupid ass in the kitchen and fix me dinner!” No, my friends; it's not like that at all.

Does He make me feel small?

Well yes he does, but in a good way. In a dominate/submissive way. I like to feel overpowered. I like that He can intimidate me with His eyes. I like to feel the strength He has literally permeate from Him. It's a “I'm being protected” kind of small. It's a “ I will always have your back” kind of small. It's a “No one will ever harm you” kind of small. If that makes me a weak gotta have a man female then hey; go ahead and put me in that category; cause see I don't think that's a bad thing.

I don't roll with the “anything He can do I can do” rhetoric...cause it's not true. There is plenty He does much better than I ever could. Equal rights, sure. If you can vote so can I. If we do the same work, we should get the same pay. Of course that's just common sense...but being a soft pliable, submissive woman who feels safe and loved and complete when her Master exercises dominance over there relationship doesn't make me weak. Being referred to or considering myself owned is a privileged rank; not an insult on my self esteem. I earned that by showing Him how committed and sincere I was about our lifestyle. As I've said before; being submissive is who I am. It's where I feel the core of self authenticity. It's not contrived, or fake, or an act just to please Him. It's where I thrive and am so very happy.

We have an intimacy so layered with trust and understanding and need. It's like a nervous system; everything entwined and so unbelievably intricate. All the layers meld together; all needed to make the whole not only complete but able to flourish and grow with time.

I don't know how else to describe it. I only know that if you could somehow see into my heart;my head; my soul...You would know, and you would hope someday to feel it as well.

Will it last forever? Of course my romantic heart wants to shout of course it will. But the truth of it is no one ever knows the answer to that question.

I do know this. In almost 14 years I have belonged to this Master of a man. Every day my desire to please Him is my goal. Every day with Him is inspiring and filled with many passions. He has my heart,my passion, my devotion, my love. He has my respect, my loyalty and yes my complete submission. Everyday that He considers these things enough for Him is another day I belong to Him. I hope the days go on forever.

 

Well, it's a slow day in Masters Lair. Not much to speak of in the way of slavedom.

My day started at 5:33 a.m. I got myself out of bed and fetched Master His morning coffee. As He was drinking that and waking up I gave Him a deep muscle leg and back rub to get the blood pumping. Afterwards, as I do every morning I took His cock in my mouth for some morning worship for a few minutes before He headed for the shower.

While He was showering I made Him breakfast.

2 eggs over easy, fresh cut potatoes and onions, bacon, and a bowl of fresh blueberries sprinkled with sugar; coffee and orange juice to drink.

No lunch appointments today so I packed Him a crab salad with lemon and freshly made cocktail sauce for lunch.

After breakfast He kissed me good bye and with a “You be a good girl today, I'll see you this afternoon”, He was on His way.

Tasks on todays schedule are fairly light. The sheets will be changed, ( I do this twice a week so they always keep that fresh sheet smell) The Master bath will be cleaned. I do this daily so it's always immaculate for Him. Windex the mirror and wipe down the toilet which is always left up. I Shake out the rugs and replace the towels, wipe off the counters so they are shiny. Fold the toilet paper in a crisp V shape and make sure the roll never goes below half, at which time I move it to another bathroom and replace it with a full roll for Master. Little things that make Him feel spoiled and cared for.

I'll make plans for dinner and start that process: vacuum the floors so they are neat and tidy.

I have no responsibilities outside of the house today, so I will spend an hour or so on the computer updating files for Him and send a devotional email thanking Him for all the joy He brings to my life.

So since it's a slow day in my world I thought I'd let you in on trivial info about myself so you know me better as a person.

Favorite color...... any shade of blue

Favorite fruit..... melons, berries,peaches (couldn't name just one)

Favorite nuts..... Hazel, Brazil, and pecans, Black walnuts for cooking and baking

Favorite vegetable....fresh corn on the cob, fresh grown tomatoes (yeah, I know the tomato is a fruit but for me, it's a veggie; oh, and cucumbers as well, they serve multiple purposes...lol

Music..... whatever Master likes which is usually jazz, classical...sometimes old rock, sometimes country.

Favorite Hobby... writing, painting, reading

Favorite author... Nora Roberts and her books as J.D. Robb. I also try to read something non fiction off the NY. Times list 4 to 6 times a year time permitting.

Favorite Type of food.... Japanese/Italian/Thai

Favorite sushi....white tuna, also love seaweed salad on the side.

Favorite drink...unsweetened ice tea with fresh lemon and fresh mint leaves.

Favorite alcoholic drink.... white Russian, mimosas, good champagne

Television channels....Discovery, Food network

Favorite time of year..... from Thanksgiving day until Christmas.....and when the orange blossoms bloom. Where we live we are surrounded by 3 different orange groves and when they bloom the air is thick with the fragrance. It is absolutely intoxicating.

That's all for now. I have to go and finish my computer work.

Have a wonderful day everyone!!!!

 

So in my overactive sexual imagination I create many fantasys. Truly thousands over the years. There are a few I've never entertained, some things are too strange even for fantasy, much less reality. Most stay fantasy which they should. Many we have role played and some were nice ones to repeat, others were much better kept in the mind, rather than reality....lol

However I've noticed lately that I keep recreating a fantasy involving another woman.

I've never been with another woman in a sexual way. The closest I ever came to it was when I spent the night with my best friend at 16. We had foolishly spent the day baking in the sun and I didn't apply sunscreen. I was miserable that evening; red as a lobster, burnt to a crisp. I slept beside her naked because I couldn't stand anything but a sheet on me. I was in so much pain that I was crying and she pushed my hair out of my eyes and brushed my tears away. She tried to soothe me with words and after a while she just leaned in and kissed me on the lips soft and tender. I opened my mouth slightly and she very shyly brushed her tongue in my mouth, french kissing me in the most delicate way. I remember thinking how much softer her tongue was than a boys. After the kiss she told me how sorry she was I was in pain, and I fell asleep to her stroking my hair.

We never spoke of the kiss. It was as if it never happened. At this point in my life I hadn't done much more than this with a boy, much less a girl. We remained friends until I met Master and moved away and slowly fell out of touch with each other. I never forgot that kiss though.

Lately I've found myself caught up in a fantasy of lying naked with another woman. I don't picture her a Mistress or dominant, just a soft delicate woman with creamy soft skin. Her lips are a deep pink and her eyes a sleepy green. She has long hair like mine. Sometimes it's blonde, sometimes it's auburn.

I feel our skin rubbing against each other, I taste her when she kisses me, her lips much fuller and softer than a mans, her mouth much smaller. I feel her lips on my nipples, and I become excited when she sucks them, laps at them with her tongue. I imagine her licking down my stomach, her hair tickling my skin as it follows with her. When I fantasize about this woman licking inside me; putting her mouth on my cunt, it makes me ache and want to touch myself. I imagine how soft and delicate she would be as she would know just where to press with her tongue to take me over. She would know how to nip playfully at my lips and how to push her tongue inside me with soft fluid strokes. She would take her tongue and lips and suck gently on and around my clit until I was writhing in need. Interestingly enough, I never fantasize myself pleasing her it's always her pleasing me which contradicts 98% of my other fantasys which usually involve me participating in some way.

I don't have this fantasy very often and I don't want it to become a reality. But it does excite me very much. I haven't told Master of this fantasy, although writing this is telling Him as He will read it eventually. I don't think it will upset Him as I've had scenarios involving various people. Not anyone I actually know, just types of people; authoritative figures for example, or rough aggressive types.

My question is do you think it's wrong of me to have this fantasy, or is it just like all the rest; mind play of a oversexed slave. I was interested in the opinions of others on this matter.

 

Some mornings Master, I just lie awake in bed and watch You. Even as You sleep You emote such strength and power. Often I think of the crossroads of our meeting and how much different my life would be if You hadn't wanted me.

I remember the excitement You brought in my life; so many doors You opened to things that before I was only allowed to look through the window of.

I will be forever grateful for the patience You had, and sometimes still do. I also will never be able to show enough gratitude for simply being able to be who I am. I hadn't shared with but a select few my desires before I met You; and the few I did tell didn't know how to Master me.

That's never been an issue for You has it Sir.

You have always known how to Master me.

Your hands reflect some of that physical strength; they have the ability to give me remarkable pleasure, or unspeakable pain.

You're mind however...that is the genesis and the genius of Your strength and power.

Male Dominance just seems to pour from it.

You speak volumes with Your eyes alone. I have assimilated myself to anticipate Your minds wishes through Your eyes.

I know most times I please You. I know that I feed that hunger in You that drives You to control.

I know it thrills You to look at me from across the room and within seconds have me by Your side.

I see satisfaction spread across Your face when yet another look takes me to my knees.

Somehow You have been able to keep me just where You wish, and most willingly I might add.

You balance discipline with compassion; You make me ache to serve You. I am forever teetering on a precipice of spoiled and worthless.

Every day is an adventure with You; even the boring ones.

 

With recent things I've read in various posts and blogs on the internet  I feel the need to let those interested in becoming slaves and Masters in on the reality of these relationships in the real world. The information I am about to give you is based on my relationship with my Master and also based on a group of online slaves I correspond with who also live this lifestyle. I do not claim to speak for every slave and if I contradict someone else's situation then please tell your experiences as well so we get a broad spectrum of experiences.

So this is how it seems to me.

People have all of these preconceptions of what slavery is. Everything from Gorean to just being a whore for someone. All the fetishes and fantasys get lumped into one big blurry mess. People imagine some woman home all day in collars and cuffs bowing and kneeling and being treated either very poorly or like a harem queen. They imagine hours of protocol and lowered eyes and “Yes Master, No Master all the time”

. Well, that all sounds good but it's just grossly unrealistic. It's couples who try to live up to these unattainable goals that get frustrated and just give up on the process because it was set up to fail from the beginning.

 

So when Master can't whip me all over, He becomes much more creative. Nipple clamps are used more. Humiliation is used more. Extreme bondage positions and objectification is used more.

It frustrates Him that He is limited to only marking my ass and sometimes my breasts. Not even they can be whipped to His satisfaction or I can't wear a bathing suit top. So I have to deal with the clover clamp; and God help me His make shift wooden Horse. That was last nights treat.

 

Hi Friends...long time no see. Sorry for my lack of blogs, This is a busy time of year for Master which in turn makes it a busy time of year for me. He is very gracious to allow me to participate on this site but will only allow it if I perform as expected at home and His office. So the computer has had to play second fiddle this week.

I will be honest here and tell you there are times I want to balk at my responsibilities as His slave. There are times when I think He expects to much; pushes me too hard. Then I accomplish what He gives me to do and I feel very proud of myself.

He often tells me He knows me better than I know myself.

I tend to believe it. I hope admitting to these feelings doesn't make you think less of me. I'm just being honest; letting you in

what it is like being a 24/7 slave in the life we live.

I've been sleeping in my collar lately. He doesn't always have me sleep with it. Trust me , I feel the collar whether it's there are not, but often He likes the tangible reminder. The visual of seeing it around my neck. He like to pull me to Him by the o-ring and just toy with it...because He can.

I often look into His eyes at those moments, and wonder what He's thinking. I wonder what it feels like to know you own something; own someone...no, maybe it was right the first time...something.

Because there are times I do feel like property; and there are times I feel like the most precious commodity on earth.

It's part of His pull I think; keeping me constantly guessing which I am.

 

Well...It was every bit as wonderful as I knew it would be. The evening was beyond words.

Master looked so dashingly handsome dressed to the nines and I was so proud to be on His arm.

We had drinks at the bar while we waited for our table to be ready... We touched and talked and just took time to relax. I love to see the stress from His hectic day leave Him; to be replaced by a calm peaceful relaxation.

 

t's a beautiful day here in sunny; (well, slightly overcast Florida) Most everyday here is beautiful, but today especially so for me because...

It's my birthday!!!!

So, I won't be able to have a long post, as I need to finish up my daily “ to do's” so I can prepare for tonight.

Master is taking me out to a fancy smancy restaurant. I even get to have a manicure and have my long hair professionally styled so it looks elegant and demurely sexy. (Not cut mind you as He would literally disown me if I did! Lol)

 My Moms Hazelnut Mocha Torte

Blue Crabs in Garlic Butter

Campbells Chicken Noodle Soup...in the red can; from my childhood days

 

One minute, I'm drifting endlessly through a fog of sleep, and the next I feel Your hand push between my legs. I roll over and spread my legs wide for You, a response that's so inbred in me, I'm not consciously aware of doing it.

Roll over and spread for your Master.

Give Him complete access to whatever He wants.

It's ingrained in me now.

Through the haze of sleep I respond to your touch as always.

My cunt becomes pouty and wet while your fingers fuck me.

I struggle to keep my legs spread wide as one finger rubs hard over my clit, while three more push against the fleshy heat inside me.

 Many different ways...sometimes I just withdraw from those around me.
Sometimes I lash out, which normally bites me in the ass cause I'll end up getting punished for it.
Sometimes I'll become overwhelmed and just curl up in a fetal position with a pillow and cry like a weak little girl.

 

My wrists are burning from the rope thats wrapped tightly around them. My body swings ever so slowly back and forth as I dangle from the staircase frame. His voice teases and taunts me; drawing me to Him.

His frustrated.

He wants to whip me but He can't. He misses seeing my smooth skin, kissed by the sun, covered with lines of red welts. He craves the rainbow of blues and greens and yellows that cover my body for days after a pain session.

Sometimes the sadistic side of Master is arousing; sometimes it's terrifying. He can be sitting beside me; touching me; and I'll look down at His hand which is softly caressing a mark He's left on me. I'll look at His eyes and they dance with pleasure as He remembers the scene. His cock grows hard as stone just from recalling it in His head.

 

The strongest and most effective force in guaranteeing the long-term maintenance of power is not violence in all the forms deployed by the dominant to control the dominated, but consent in all the forms in which the dominated acquiesce in their own domination.

Robert Frost

How very true. 
Master has effectively over time eased me into total domination. What started as a desire to experiment has turned into a lifestyle. Now I passionately crave His control; bask in the pleasure of His Male Dominance.  He has created the enviroment that makes me feel safe, controlled, subdued... Mastered.

 

Good Morning Master,

It was such an honor to serve You this morning. Wasn't it a glorious beginning to the day? Fate blessed us with a slow start. I was so excited when your 8 o'clock appointment had to reschedule and you didn't have to leave until 10:3O. I hope You didn't mind my taking the initiative and serving You breakfast by the pool. Wasn't it amazing Sir; the breeze blowing warm and soft around us; drunk with the scent of honeysuckle and orange blossoms. How I wish I could freeze that moment in time. The most perfect start to the day..

It was so erotic, sitting naked by Your side while You were dressed for work, feeding You pieces of buttered croissant and slices of sweet mango. I still remember the shivers of pleasure when You licked the juice that dripped down my arm. The coffee was robust and hot; the fresh strawberries and cream cool and sweet.

Oh, how I wanted the world to just go away today Master. How I dreamed of staying by Your side all day eager to please You in whatever way You wished.

I will still please You..

I will make You very proud of Your slave. I will spend the day in service to You; keeping Your environment tidied and fresh, just as You prefer.

I will be bathed and shaved smooth, perfumed with Your favorite scent; my hair arranged just as You desire; and I will be kneeling by Your chair waiting for You to touch me and bring me alive again.

Hurry home Master; because when You aren't here; it's just walls and brick; but as soon as You enter; it becomes paradise.

Submissively yours,

~kandye~